numb

So, if you couldn't tell from my last entry, I had a friend who was killed in the shooting at Virginia Tech. His name was Ryan Clark and he was the RA of the dorm where the first shooting was and yes, he was gay. He was also one of my sister's best friends.
I was already depressed when I found out about the shooting. I didn't find out about Ryan until about 6pm Monday night, and my sadness was multiplied by a hundred and I've felt shitty all week.
I don't know what to do. I've been really irritable and bitchy to everyone, but when I'm alone, I get really depressed and I can't motivate myself to do anything.
I think I should talk with a counselor sometime soon...

I really just wish I could be home right now.